I already have a case of the Mondays.

Well…Friday night was a lot of fun.  Until I started puking after we left the bar, then later started bawling and spilling my guts to poor K about how scared I am about being in such a vulnerable position with C.  See, I’m not used to this whole “loving someone” thing, and it’s a liiiiitle scary to me.  Or a lot.  But anyway, before all that, I really did have a lot of fun.  Ugh.  I used to hold my liquor a little better, but I don’t ever go out anymore, so…yeah.  Damn.  I totally feel like I ruined the night for everyone, and it was supposed to be my birthday celebration.  But she said it was a fun night until then, so hopefully…The one upside:  at least I didn’t puke at the bar?  It’s all I can think of.

But anyway.  Yesterday I pretty much slept all day, trying to forget about my headache and my crying episode and embarrassing myself the night before.  K and I are gonna have dinner in about an hour, so that will be nice.  She’s the only person who really knows me for all of my plusses and minuses, ya know?  I don’t share myself with anyone, really.  Just like she said on the phone, all that stuff I told her Friday night I probably never would have told her if I wasn’t so wasted.  That’s not healthy, I know, but it’s just how I operate.  I eat everything, swallow everything, don’t talk about anything.  It’s pretty retarded if I think about it, but it’s been that way for so long, since I can remember, I don’t even realize I’m doing it.  K, on the other hand, is very good about knowing exactly how she feels, her emotions, etc.  I see it and wish I could be the same way, but sometimes I think she wishes she could not feel things so strongly.  I guess these are the things that make us different, interesting.  Or something.

That movie is on right now about a straight woman (Jennifer Aniston) falling for a gay man (Paul Rudd).  You just can’t DO that, girl!  Honestly, people should know better.  I’m doing laundry.  I did the dishes.  It has been raining since Friday night, non-stop.  It’s the awful, cold rain weather that just makes you want to crawl under the covers and watch t.v. or read a book.  Unfortunately, I spent all of YESterday in bed or napping on the couch, so today I need to get some things done.   I hate that the weekend is the only time I have to get things done around the house because I’m always too tired during the week.  Then when the weekend comes, I just want to be lazy and watch movies and stuff.  Oh, shit.  I just realized I still haven’t gone to CVS to pick up my freaking Nuva-ring.  Freaking crap.  I have to start it today, so I better throw something on and head over there, nasty rain and all.

This entry sucks, lol.  Um, is it just me, or is tomorrow Monday?  AGAIN.  FUCK.